‘Komt een vrouw bij de dokter’ by Kluun

This novel is told from the perspective of Stijn, a hedonistic man in his mid-thirties. He lives in Amsterdam, runs a successful advertising agency, and leads a life full of partying and drugs. Together with his wife Carmen, he has a young daughter named Luna. Carmen is diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer, which has a low chance of survival, and begins her first round of chemotherapy. Stijn accompanies her to the hospital, shaves his wife’s head when she begins losing her hair, and tries to be supportive as her condition worsens, but he struggles to cope. He throws himself into Amsterdam’s nightlife, where he and his friends indulge in alcohol, drugs and sleep with multiple women. While Carmen undergoes chemotherapy, radiation, and a mastectomy, Stijn travels to Miami with his friends, and continues to indulge in partying, hook-ups, and gourmet food—though he does confide in his friend Fenk that he is, in fact, struggling with his wife’s illness. Back home, he celebrates Carnival in Breda, where he meets a woman named Roos, with whom he begins a passionate affair. During the day, he cares for and supports Carmen and Luna, but he spends his nights with Roos. Carmen ultimately confronts Stijn about his cheating and asks him whether he wants a divorce. Although his mind tells him yes, he says no and promises Carmen he will be faithful for the time she has left – a promise he breaks shortly after. A week later, Carmen receives the news that the cancer has metastasised to her liver and that she is terminally ill. In this final stage of her life, Carmen spends her time shopping, creating a memory box for Luna filled with letters and videos from friends about Carmen, writing a diary, and going on trips – until she can no longer do so and is confined mostly to bed. Her belly grows larger and larger due to ascites, which causes her immense pain that becomes unmanageable. She then decides in favour of assisted dying. During this period, Stijn devotes most of his time to caring for Carmen and Luna, while also texting Roos about what is happening at home and managing the many visits from friends and family who want to say their goodbyes. On the day of her death, Carmen shares some final moments with her mother, close friends, and finally with Luna and Stijn. She dies in Stijn’s arms at their home in Amsterdam. The novel ends with a text message to Roos, asking if she would like to attend Carmen’s funeral.

The first reviews of Komt een vrouw bij de dokter upon its release in 2003 were predominantly negative. Some criticised its writing, finding it written in the “impotent language of a twelve-year-old.” But most criticised Stijn’s character. Stijn is a difficult character to parse. He is hedonistic, taking pleasure in parties and in sleeping around, but he is also happily married to Carmen, whom he adores, and a devoted father to Luna. Carmen's diagnosis comes as a huge shock, and to cope with his grief, he seeks to maintain a sense of normalcy by continuing to party and pursue other women. Nevertheless, he loves Carmen and does everything in his power to make the end of her life as comfortable as possible. Critics who interpreted Stijn as immoral, narcissistic and shallow, fixated on his direct and at times vulgar narration. They ignored the nuance Kluun brought to this character by depicting his efforts to ease Carmen’s suffering and make her life as beautiful as possible until her death. Most readers, however, responded positively to Carmen, admiring her resilience and desire to make the most of the time she has left. Carmen is portrayed as forgiving and understanding towards Stijn. Though at times she finds it hard to cope with his behaviour, she is also grateful to him for accompanying her through her illness and caring for her. When Carmen ultimately decides on an assisted death, Stijn understands Carmen’s situation and supports her decision. Assisted death is thus not presented in the novel as a topic of debate, so much as a reasonable course of action, likely because it has been legal in the Netherlands since 2002. Komt een vrouw bij de dokter has been translated into 31 languages since its publication and, despite its initial negative reception, was awarded the NS Publieksprijs for Best Dutch Book in 2006. In 2009, it was adapted into a movie, and in 2023 into a play. Komt een vrouw bij de dokter is a novel that is unreservedly honest, emotional and humorous. It invites readers to reflect on illness, love, loyalty, loss and the meaning of life.